36 Questions to Fall in Love
The famous psychological study deck designed to build intense vulnerability and deep love.
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36 Questions to Fall in Love
If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?
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Take turns answering
How to play 36 Questions to Fall in Love
- Set aside about an hour somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.
- Take turns reading each question out loud and both answer it.
- Go in order. The questions are designed to build on each other.
- Tap Next to move through all 36 questions.
- Many couples finish by looking into each other's eyes in silence for four minutes, as in the original study.
Tips for a better game
- ♥Don't rush the later questions, they're the most meaningful.
- ♥Be honest, even when it's easier not to be.
- ♥You can split it across three evenings, one set per night.
About 36 Questions to Fall in Love for couples
The 36 Questions to Fall in Love come from a 1997 psychology study by Arthur Aron and colleagues, which explored whether two people could build closeness by asking each other increasingly personal questions.
The questions are split into three sets that gradually go deeper. Many couples use them to feel closer, and they're just as meaningful for partners who've been together for years.
All 36 questions
- If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you'll say? Why?
- What would a perfect day look like for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? And to someone else?
- If you could live to 90 and keep either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years, which would you choose?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how your life will end?
- Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common.
- What in your life do you feel most grateful for?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow with one new quality or ability, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life or the future, what would you want to know?
- Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most painful memory?
- If you knew you had only one year left, would you change anything about how you live now? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Take turns sharing something you see as a positive trait in your partner. Share five each.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- Make three true 'we' statements each, like: We are both in this room feeling...
- Complete this sentence: I wish I had someone with whom I could share...
- If you were going to become close friends with your partner, what would they need to know about you?
- Tell your partner what you like about them. Be very honest, and say things you might not say to someone you just met.
- Share an embarrassing moment from your life.
- When did you last cry in front of someone? And by yourself?
- Tell your partner something you already like about them.
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you had to leave tonight with no chance to talk to anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
- Your house catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you can safely grab one last item. What would it be and why?
- Of all the people in your family, whose loss would affect you the most? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner how they would handle it. Then ask how they think you feel about it.